Warped Hiatus/The Return of Tabitha

A first thing worth mentioning is the new friends we've made over the past few days. A Dream of Reality joined up with us in Maryland (I believe) and they've been a permanent fixture in our tent ever since. Ben, the bassist, is easily my favorite. He's a laid back guy, but has a frenetic, fast-paced way of talking and wide range of subject I enjoy. AJ, the lead-singer, is a smooth-talker who's forte is selling cds to cute girls. Mike, the drummer, is just a nice guy. And then theres Dan who just has a beautiful face. haha. They all have beautiful hair.

Basically, they always bring up more people to the tent, give us a few extra chairs and provide a bottle of water or two.

Dead Legend is a band currently playing on the ECI/Playwork stage. Such nice, nice guys and so dedicated to their band's goals that they sleep sitting up in a shitty van.

Jon C. is a deejay at the Truth Campaign booth who was nice enough to give me a bag full of awesome Truth merch because he was so impressed with my knowledge of Latino music (which is ironic because I'm a diehard smoker.) When I finally have time to go to the barbeque he's the first person I'm calling to come hang out with me.

Guerilla Clothing is a badass clothing company that is one of many companies interested in doing a line with Jac. I learned in conversation that the merch guy was familiar with Pratt and Brooklyn (Where I live 9 months out of the year) and I'm excited to hit up some bars with him in the fall.

People from GirlGarage, StereoBear, and Stare have also made semi-regular stops at our booth.

One of the best things about Warped Tour is meeting people—and even if they're your best friend for only five minutes standing in the catering line, it's still great.

———

But as far as friends go (And how could I forget)

THE RETURN OF TABITHA.

Tabitha is discussed in-depth in my second blog if you want the whole backstory. Cleveland is her hometown and in addition to bringing herself she brought her mom. They are two very delightful human beings who I wish were going on more dates.

But on to Cleveland in general.

Cleveland Ohio, for those of you who don't know, was the site of last year's biggest Warped Tour disaster. Although I wasn't there, I'm told a tornado ripped through the mainstage, wrecking thousands of dollars worth of equipment and killing two kids.

You would think a state as yawn-inducing as Ohio wouldn't be capable of producing such chaos, but once I was there I understood.

Cleveland was probably the worst date for me personally for a number of reasons:

Once we left the south, concrete gradually replaced grass as the venues' flooring of choice. Sun absorbed itself rapidly into the blacktop, emanating heat well after the height of the day had settled itself into the horizon. Everybody was hot, miserable, dehydrated, and not in the mood to buy things. There was black dust everywhere, and Tower City (where the venue was located) is a P.O.S.

Additionally, our merch tent was sandwiched between two stages, diagonal from the main stage, so my ears were assaulted by an amelodic clashing of drums and vocals that didn't quit for hours. It all started to sound the same; Bouncing Souls finally came on at 5:15 and it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard, drowning out the irrelevance of bad acoustics and bands that left something to be desired.

At one point, the cops stationed in our tent noticed that I might've been having a mild panic attack.

"Go take a break, we'll watch the tent."

And running off to the shoreside of whatever body of water we were near, I felt like I was being chased by the ghost of that tornado. Like nightmares of tornados where I keep repeating to myself, "This is real; This is it; This is real this time." Chased by a man, a memory, a calling to a lifestyle that lacks the structure & order I crave. Even if my bedroom suggests otherwise.

Overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is how I felt all day. And there were hotter days, with ruder people and worse bands and more drama.

So I was only glad to get the hell out, settle in my hotel in Detroit early, order pizza and go to bed by 12.

Detroit Warped Tour was the most curious of all the dates, mostly because I never saw or heard any of the stages or bands play once. Our booth was in a baseball stadium! Luckily, people are diehard enough to seek out Jac that we made out well, AND got to chill in the shade the entire day. (Right next to catering with STARBUCKS, may I add)

After the tour date I made my way via car back to Pennsylvania. If you're wondering why I seem to never be on the bus, let me just put it this way.

Living on a bus with strangers is akin to going, "HiNiceToMeetYaHowAreYaLetsSleepOntopOfOneAnotherIn CoffinsForTheRestOfOurLives." Or going to work everyday (very strenous work) and then when works over going to bed with your coworkers who are all pissed and tired and THEN: waking up with them in the morning to do it all over again. The fuses are short, the ride is long and sanity's in slim supply.

But on to other things.

Wrapping up, I gotta comment on prevalent Warped Tour fashion. Girls, whoever invented booty shorts is a sadist. I know it's hard to check out your own ass in a mirror but take the time, PLEASE! Only about 90% of women have no cellulite at all. The other 10% are models or very, very airbrushed.

Goth kids! There is nothing sadder than seeing a goth kid in shorts! And runny eyeliner! And smeared makeup! Keep the fashion statements at home and wear cool clothes, sunscreen, sunglasses, etc. Have a great time.

AND SPEAKING OF SUNGLASSES. NO. MORE. KANYE. SUN. GLASSES. THEY ARE USELESS. YOU LOOK DUMB. YOU PAID 15 DOLLARS FOR THEM. KANYE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN PULL THEM OFF, AND THAT WAS ONLY ON THE COVER OF BLENDER MAGAZINE.

And god help me if I see another pair of heart-shaped sunglasses on another 15-year-old girl that HASN'T read Nabakov or ever even heard of Lolita. Your glasses are a symbol of pedophilia. It's like wearing a swastika and not knowing what it means.

Stop, before I vomit.

My coffee pot is empty and so is my head.

Until next time…..

—Jen

SHOUTOUTS TO JAC AND KEL. (always) and Bag Lady. and Julio, who left us in Detroit. Peace out man, it was good while it lasted.